Me, talking

Don’t keep things bottled up. Talk it out. It feels good.

This is one of the coping suggestions that has been made on several websites, and by doctors. And while it's nice to talk about it sometimes, I find that the more I talk about it the more I think about it and start stressing ad freaking out about all the "what if's". So in reality I try to think about happier things. Because I like to be happy!

But, for the sake of coping...

Medication is helping control most of the symptoms of RA, thankfully. But it's still something I think about everyday.
I get annoyed when I can't do something I think I should be able to, like turning a door knob equipped with one of those darn "kid proof" handle things. (but, lets be honest...what adult hasn't had this problem at least once?!)
I get sad when I'm playing with Avery and have to stop because of random pains, or can't even start because of them.
It's frustrating not knowing from day to day how much, or where, I will feel the pain.

I'm coming up on my 3 month mark for my treatment, at my next appointment is when we're supposed to decide if I keep going on this one, or try something else.

I feel SO much better now than I did 3 months ago, not perfect, but I really don't feel like I should be complaining.
I feel incredibly blessed that this treatment is working so well, I heard horror stories of people going through years of trying different treatments before finding something that works.

So after 3 months, and now being able to walk, sometimes run (if I'm chasing Avery...and not in a game, he's seriously fast when he decides to run away from me!), get off the floor by myself, drive, unbuckle car seats, make dinner, and so many other daily activities, things are really looking up for me.

And I'm finding small things, that although aren't typical exercizes, help loosen my joints that are still tight and make it easier for me to do what I want.

So all in all, things are going well, and I feel extremely lucky and blessed to be doing so well.

I've also been trying to think of positive aspects of this disease...and I can't find any.
BUT...the medication on the other hand...after being sick for a while after starting (and some occasional blah days still), I have lost all my pregnancy weight and am now at the weight I was when Andy and I got married. The weight loss has slowed way down, which is good (never thought I'd say that!), and I'm trying to eat 3 regular meals a day, which after 3 months of a brunch, snack and dinner meal schedule is harder than I thought it would be .

Anyway. Talking does feel good. Even if it is a one sided blog "conversation".

Sorry if this is kind of random.